What Part's the Baby, What Part's Bathwater?

I think I've mentioned before that what I wanted to do with this blog was to track the development of my various creative projects and that the goal faded because I couldn't publish anything about projects that belong to others.  

I redrew the examples included in one of my earliest posts about storyboarding just so that I could blog it.   Now it can be told that the original panels were from MYSTERY INC., the new Scooby Doo series on Cartoon Network.  Just image it reset at a Renaissance Fair instead of at a comic convention and see if you can spot it on the air.

So once again I will attempt to talk about my current development at Cartoon Network without talking about it.  My the gods of coherent writing smile upon both of us.

What I pitched to CN was a comedy involving four main characters.  I'll go so far as to say that they're kids.  Each kid had a broad personality with a major quirk to it.  Each kid had to be very distinct but complement the other three since they work as a team.

Okay, here's where I need to make things up.

Let's say their names are Timmy, Tommy, Tubby and Teresa.  Timmy is the neighborhood con man and leader of the group.  He's always coming up with a new scam that the others help with.  It's OCEANS 11 for the middle school set.  Teresa is the beauty with the right cross.  She loves boxing, wrestling, karate and martial arts she makes up and names on the fly.  The one thing they have in common is they all hurt.  In a con, you may sense she's pulling something but it won't be her punches.

Tommy is terrified at being caught by the authorities whether it be the police or Mrs. Antigua the Librarian Barbarian.  He's  part of the crew because Timmy has his Boo Bear plush toy at an unknown locationa and will not hesitate to injure it to get Tommy's cooperation.  Finally Tubby is the forger who can duplicate any teacher's note, parent's signature or report card. 

What they liked about my idea (the real one) is that the kids were having big adventures in a suburban setting that any viewer would want to be a part of.  Their notes were all about pushing the humor, making it more extreme -- not less tasteful but in random, unexpected ways.  I loved that note.  Some of my favorite episodes of my shows were the ones that played with reality. Too often, exec worries about logic would tone down gags in my various shows.  It's weird to think that when I started Darkwing Duck, there were huge discussions about whether he should ever address the camera (this was before Aladdin where Robin William's genie not only broke the fourth wall but demolished it, crawled through the screen and sat in the seat next to you).

The next step was to pitch premises.  I practically wrote full outlines because there's a difference between writing a paragraph about a character and using it in a story.  I used the premise process to discover my characters and find the tone of the show.  Obviously, I had direction but so far it was all generalities.  Time to make it all concrete.

 As I wrote these "premlines" I quickly learned what quirks suggested story ideas, gags or defined characters and which were funny one or two times and then wore out their welcome.  When you put characters in story situations you think about how they bounce off each other.  Who makes a good team within the team.  Do I have to have Timmy threaten Tommy's teddy every episode?  How many variations on a death threat are there?  And how likable will these characters be? 

 The show will be a half hour (22 minutes plus commercials) but divided into two, eleven minute stories.  The pilot is only one story so you look for the premise that gives the best overall sense of the series.  You have to keep in mind that it will be screened for kids who can only react to what they're presented.  Sure, there'll be a presenter to set up the show before showing the pilot but that's just "trombone talk" from the Peanuts cartoons.  It's the pilot that will make the impact. So you have to be as entertaining as hell while giving a sense of the unseen stories to come.  

Let's say our junior conmen have three main adversaries: the librarian, the principal and the rich kids.  Each of those adversaries may give you a certain kind of story or dynamic between protagonist and antagonist.  Each of the three helps tell a different kind of story.  But if you write a pilot about the kids selling books online, books pilfered from the library, the kids in the focus groups may think of the series as "That Library Show."  So maybe you work in the rich kids as targets of the scam and a cameo of the principal that ups the tension in the climax of the story.  Downside, you have less time to showcase characters, upside, the pilot is a better example of your series.

A premise was picked and because of its detail, we skipped the outline step and I got a go ahead to script.  And because I had  submitted three detailed stories, they had a good idea of the tone I was going for and gave notes accordingly.  In the first draft I was sure to include moments describe as running gags or opportunities for audience interaction.  Darkwing Duck said, "Let's Get Dangerous," in every episode to not only sell it as a trademark but to be a hook for a kid who is pretending to be DW.

(BTW, forgive all the references to one of my earliest shows.  It just happens to be on my mind because of the BOOM! Kids comic series and a "Disney TV Animation Reunion" panel that I attended the other night. )

So an example of this in the Con Kids series would be the way they signal to each other.  In the great movie, "The Sting," Robert Redford and Paul Newman signal the con is on by touching a finger to the side of the nose.  The Con Kids would constantly change their signals and be a hundred times more wacky and elaborate as they do it.  

I also put in as many punching, fighting gags with Teresa as I could think of, holding Tommy in a hammerlock as they talked, punching a cabinet to open it and every violent action used to perform a mundane action possible.

Notes came back.  They wanted to make sure the kids were likable since in real life these types would be losers, victims or mental patients.  The execs encouraged me to push the humor more.  Their most important notes were about characters.  They didn't want the secondary characters to come off as sitcom stereotypes.  Worse, they felt they only had a clear understanding of one character main character, Tommy, the kid who did everything under duress. (Again, not the real character but you can see how it would be easy to write him in every scene since a "loved one" is being threatened and he's working against his will.)  The rests weren't clear.

My initial reactions were positive because they liked so much in the script.  And now when they talked about how they wanted to see the humor pushed they could use examples from my script.  As to the secondary characters, there was one that they felt really hit the mark (I felt the same) and another that had all the traits they wanted but wasn't in the script much.  But the most serious note was the lack of definition in my main characters because the whole series depends on that.

The main enemy of accomplishing all this is time.  Not how much time I have for a rewrite but the length of the episode.  A normal episode would only feature the Librarian as an adversary but my pilot had to include the Principal, the rich kids and a sense of student population that would define the universe the series.  And it's only eleven minutes.  I already felt the script was long so what could I cut to make time?

That's when I took at all those running gags from the pitch.  They helped sell the show but they weren't as funny as the stuff around them.  That "con is on" signal would completely rely on the storyboard artist and the final animation.  Even if the writer could act it out, it would require lots of effort to make happen with uneven payoffs.  Out it went. I realized it wasn't baby.  It was bath water.

All the "Let's Get Dangerous" moments, out.  If there were "housekeeping lines," dialogue that's meant to smooth transitions between scenes, the had to be made funny or be cut.  I worked on the secondary characters and improved them but ended up cutting some of those gags to make room for the main characters.

I looked at Teresa who was little more than collection of physical gags.  They were funny and easier to invent and execute than the random con signals but would they continue to be funny after a couple of episodes?  More importantly, the story can't stop for those gags, they have to be a part of it.  But con stories are about criminals who use their brains, not brawn. I had cleverly designed a character who slowed down the pace with increasingly unfunny bits that didn't fit my overall premise.

So even though her fighting skills were the key quirk of Teresa's personality and about a quarter of the original pitch, much of Teresa turned into bath water.  She needed more baby.  The humor of the character was always the mismatch of beautiful girl and master fighter.  I switched things around to make her con role be her beauty and the fighting skills be the surprise.  They would be showcased at key moments when the action got craziest.  It also defined her as a character: she looks like a bimbo but is the most confident person in the room.  In fact, her self confidence can be exaggerated for humor and over confidence can slide into big ego, both traits rich comedy territory to mine.  Since it was such a major change, I ran it past CN and they thought it was a good call.  They now felt they knew what kind of  person Teresa was and where the comedy would come from.

As Joe Sichta was telling me, "There's a difference between writing a character and characteristics.  You need to choose the characteristics that define the character."   Actually he was quoting a famous director or writer or writer/director but I've forgotten who so Joe gets the credit.

As you develop a project, be flexible.  Don't hang onto something just because it was an early idea that helped you sell your show.  Put it to the test and make sure it works and will continue to work 12 stories down the line.  A show made of bath water will quickly go down the drain.

 

 

Was that too much?  Too punny?  Couldn't resist.   -- Tad

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Michael Lachman]

Ah, yes. I think I get what you're saying. When I was in grade school I used to make comics for fun. From 2nd-7th grade I made a comic about the same characters. In 8th grade I came to the realization the characters were bland and boring and the plot of every issue was basically the same. It's hard to explain, but it really was difficult for me to part with different aspects of my characters as I changed them and changed many aspects of the comic and basic premise. By the time I was done with high school, the only things recognizable about the characters from their original counterparts were their names. I don't know if I can explain why it bothered me so much to change the characters, but I knew if me and especially anyone other than me were to like them, I would have to.

btw, on an unrelated note, I saw Aladdin III a few weeks ago on ABC Family, and I was wondering, how do you write a script with songs to be put in? Are the songs written with the script, before or after? Also, I doubt it, but I was wondering if it was shot in a high-enough definition to ever get the Blu-ray treatment? I think the later sequels, like Lion King II were, but I don't know about Aladdin.

Thank you for your time,

Michael Lachman

[Tad]

I think there are several old comic strips that started with one character or situation then switched focus even after it was published. Beetle Bailey wasn't in the army when he started. Popeye was just a walk on role in Seegar's "Thimble Theater" comic strip before taking it over.

Sometimes, it's not worth changing. It's better to start clean so you're audience isn't confused. But if you haven't been published yet, it's all just part of the development process.

Aladdin and the Forty Thieves was not originally shot in HD, I don't think it was even an option back then. The first video I got to go hi def with was Buzz Lightyear.

[Michael Lachman]

I eventually got into the process of revamping it every year. Been a bit distracted as of late though. I have so many ideas in my head that I need to put on paper I can no longer focus on just one idea that's over 13 years old.

[Jade Griffin]

This is pretty inciteful! I loved seeing you at the Gathering convention a few years back and wanted to say thanks again for attending:) They're always a blast and I hope you had fun, too. I loved that you talked about Disney like WE (the fans) talk about "Disney" -- like it is an entity unto itself. What was interesting was that most of us saw you as part of that entity. Hearing you talking like us was very humorous and refreshing:)

[JerRocks2day]

What's the name of the new project called?

I know you said you're working on Bob's Burgers, but I don't think I got the name of the idea you've pitched to Cartoon Network...

[Tad]

@JerRocks - That's because, according to my contract, I can't discuss anything about it. That's why I had to make up a whole new show just so I could talk about the development process. So you'll learn about the show only when it gets on the air as a pilot or short subject.

[JerRocks2day]

Okay. Are you allowed to discuss it's debut date?

I'll also be sure to check out Bob's Burgers when that airs on Fox. What day does that air again?

[Amanda]

It's really interesting to read about your creative process, Tad. You have a wealth of knowledge for sure, and it's refreshing to know that you recognize when something is fluff and actually care about when something works. I guess it just reaffirms why I admire your talent for creating shows that really stick with people. It's why I've been a Darkwing enthusiast since it aired. ;)

[Tad]

@JerRocks2day--
BOB'S BURGERS debuts in January between Simpsons and Family Guy but I don't know the premiere date. Check Fox listings.

My project has no date. It could be killed at script, at storyboard, at animatic. I suppose if they spend the money to animate it, they'd at least put it on their website. That's the nature of development: you have to put all the eggs in one basket, then fight for it every step of the way. And by "fight" I mean pushing to get the most entertainment out of every facet as you go along.

When I get the note that the characters aren't clear, I can't say, "You'll get it when you hear it. I know the perfect actor." You go back to the page and squeeze in what you can or you may never make it to the recording session.

And... thanks Amanda.

[JerRocks2day]

So it's like, when you're dissatisfied with your character's personality, you go back to the drawing board and tweak it, right?

If so, I've definitely been down that road before.

I also like how you brought up on fighting for the project, because when you push to get the most entertainment, the better it becomes to the public, right?

It was like that when you were creating Darkwing Duck, right? Because you've stated it was suppose to be more of a secret agent/spy parody before becoming a superhero parody. And when adding Launhpad, I've read he was originally suppose to be the main star, before being moved to sidekick role. Is that how DW started, w/ LP starring in the show?

[Tad]

When the Darkwing Duck collection is out in a month or two from BOOM! Kids, you'll find a lengthy introduction by me revealing the origin of Darkwing Duck. So hang on for it!