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01/05/2010

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The last page, #14, I absolutely love how you had her hit the ceiling, and then the way she calls for her mom. I can just picture it animated. The way she's flying up, it's clear how she's completely out of control and doesn't know what she's doing. The whole scene was conveyed really well! The way you draw poses and body language are clear enough that it wouldn't need to be explained with text.

One thing that confuses me; it switches from the scene with the Poltergeists at the sleepover to Emm suddenly waking up in her own home... does that mean all the girls went home the night of the sleepover, or is the story transitioning to a few days later?

I figured the party broke up after the girls were threatened with point objects, smothering and assorted torture. It never occurred to me to explain that. I suppose it doesn't make a difference to the story, although if the rest had stayed it would increase Emmaryn's feeling of alienation. But on the other hand, if the reader is confused it takes them out of the story. It could've been easily covered in the dialogue between moms on the doorstep. --Tad

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