Okay, here's more pages of my comic, EMMARYN. If you want to get into comics in any creative capacity, nothing beats actually producing a comic. You quickly understand the amount of work required, the speed you need to produce on schedule and all the less exciting bits that go into creating a comic. I was really pleased when I finished the first issue of this. Learned tons. Then my taste improved and I see where these pages are working and where they really come up short.
So here's some more analysis of my comic by a little older, a little wiser me. First off, some general comments: I think it's fine to keep backgrounds to a minimum but only if you put some real work into the set up panels where you clearly define the location. I came up a little short in that department. Secondly, it's obvious my default pose of Em is 3/4 right and I use it waaaaaaay too much. Lastly, my inking is still sad. I'm not going to mention that anymore because it will become tiresome. So here's the next page:
Panel 1 should have been a wider shot showing the full staircase, a feeling for the upscale house and a clear presentation of the geography of the two girls on the staircase. Also, here's the first of the nearly nonstop 3/4 faces on this page. The space around the lettering seems clumsy. I have no idea of how to fix it... I suppose I should refer to some of the books I have that explain it.
Panel two would be okay if the first panel was changed as described above. The two heads of Emmaryn being so close is clumsy. I like the middle tier of this page so this panel should not have close ups on heads. The two girls walking down the hall would've made for a nice panel.
Panels 3 thru 5 are fine, sort of animation on the page. "Fwap" could use a better lettering choice to helf the feel of the impact. Panel 5 shows me experimenting with balloon placement to suggest voices in the background.
Panel 6 could use a better background considering it's the stage for the next several pages.
Panel 7 - Is fine. I purposely avoided using the actual Ouija Board. There have been tons of talking board designs so I think I'm safe legally. But even if this comic was published by Oni, Image or whoever, it's too small potatoes for Parker Brothers to worry about it.
The final panel is a Mignola technique; show a detail that foreshadows the upcoming story.
Page 5 is decent save for the two three quarter angled Emmaryn's in the top panels. The opposing head in the top right and bottom left panels are cool so it's panel 1 that should be changed. The storypoint is Em's isolation from this group a a better panel would be a couple of the girls in the foreground with the board and Emmaryn small in the background. There'd be more variation on the page, contrast with Panel 2 and set up the physical relationships of the characters.
The final panel is another glimpse of the weird world that's coming. It may confuse the reader but won't distract him too much from the story.
The third page is hurt by the bottom panels which are too similar to many of the medium shots on the page. It's getting a little obvious that the artist was trying to avoid drawing hard stuff.
Panel one. Note to artists: practice drawing hands. A lot. It really says a lot about your level of talent and experience. Em's hands look okay but she's evidently playing with some sort of human/crab hybrid.
The middle panel is another experiment that I think succeeds fairly well. It's like quick cutting in film with overlapping dialog. Actually, you tell me if you think it's working.
Okay, that's it for now. Another glimpse into what I think of my work. I'll try to spend a little more time writing about my intentions rather than what a bad job I did of meeting them.
Later! -- Tad
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